3rd April 2024

Practical ways to support your loved one through pregnancy

Finding out your loved one is having a new pēpē (baby) can be a wonderful and exciting time. Those first few months are full of anticipation, preparation, picking baby names, clearing out the spare room.. and probably giving more than a few back massages!

Even through all the excitement, pregnancy can be a very stressful and emotional experience too. There are many factors that can impact on wellbeing during pregnancy, and being hapū (pregnant) can make it more likely for women to experience anxiety or low mood. 

As a partner, whānau member or friend, it can be difficult to know how to support your loved one through their pregnancy. Below, you’ll find some helpful tips and examples of ways you can help — just don’t forget the back (and foot) massages too! 

Ask how you can support 

Often, we can find ourselves guessing or assuming what we’re doing is helpful , when sometimes it’s anything but! Find out if, and how, your loved one would like you to be involved. They may find it helpful to talk to you about their concerns, or they may not.  

Do positive activities together 

If they are beginning to feel anxious or worried, helping them take the focus off their worries can be helpful and can improve their mood. Lots of activities can help boost the feel-good hormones we all need for our wellbeing, so think about whether there is a relaxing, fun, or fulfilling activity you could do together.  

Give them time out  

Just like spending time doing enjoyable things together may help boost their mood, doing something on their own may be just what they need. Encourage them to go and do something that brings them joy or relaxation, while maybe you help out by offering to do something to relieve stress, like cooking a meal. A pregnancy massage, a lunch out, or even just a walk in the sun will do them wonders. 

Avoid giving too much advice or being critical  

If they’ve gone public with the news of their new pēpē, it’s probably pretty likely they’re feeling overwhelmed with ‘advice’ (for more on this, check out our last blog busting myths about parenting). It can take a long time and lots of hard work to build skills to cope with challenges and feel confident as a parent. Simply being there as a support is probably just what is needed!  

Try not to underestimate the difficulties your partner or loved one is experiencing  

Being hapū (pregnant) comes with a lot of new things to think about — birth plans, logistics, setting up a room. All of these things can be very overwhelming for new māmā (mothers). Try to validate (understand) how they are feeling rather than trying to ‘fix things’. Remember, you don’t have to try and ‘fix’ all of their problems. A helping and understanding ear is enough. 

Most importantly, listen  

Often the best answer is just to listen. When feeling distressed, most people just want to be heard and know that they’re supported. Again, you don’t have to ‘fix’ all of their problems — just walk alongside them in this new, exciting journey. 

If a loved one is needing support, we have two free online courses, designed to help them move from surviving to thriving. 

Check out what’s on offer and sign up for free today: https://www.justathought.co.nz/perinatalwellbeing