14th December 2022

How to survive a New Zealand Christmas

Ah, Christmas: if the movies are anything to go by, it ‘tis the season of Christmas miracles, a light dusting of snow, and maybe even a ghost from your past sent to deter you from your evil ways. However, for many of us, the silly season can be anything but magical – you're more likely to burn the chicken, wrangle screaming children, and go in to overdraft than have a surprise midnight encounter with Santa.  

For lots of kiwis, Christmas is the most stressful time of the year, with increased financial pressure, end-of-year workplace deadlines, and a full social calendar adding to holiday stress and anxiety. These pressures may be even harder to deal with for those already experiencing low mood and anxiety. While we may not be able to help you find the perfect Secret Santa gift for your work party, we do have some helpful tips and tricks to help you survive Christmas! 

1. Think positive 

This is probably one of those pieces of advice you’d roll your eyes at, but in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), thinking positively is a powerful technique we call ‘reframing.’  

One of the basic ideas of CBT is that your thoughts influence your feelings, which then influence your actions.  

Let’s look at an example of this: say you’re worried about cooking Christmas dinner, and thinking through everything that may go wrong. Because you’re worrying so much about burning the bird or scorching the salad, you start to feel anxious, stressed, tense. Your heart rate may increase. Because you’re feeling anxious, you aren’t thinking straight, and end up accidentally putting beef in the trifle. Humbug! 

But what would go differently if you held these positive thoughts: ‘I will nail this Christmas lunch,’ ‘even if things go wrong, it’s still nice to spend time with family,’ and ‘I will not accidentally put beef in this trifle.’ This way, even if things do go wrong, you’ll feel much less negative about them. 

Sometimes a simple reframe is all you need to shift the outcome of your day. If you’re thinking positive and still feeling overwhelmed, keep trying – retraining your brain may take a while, but it’s worth it! 

2. Let go of your own expectations 

Often, we can hold an ideal in our minds of what Christmas day ‘should’ look like, and then feel disappointed when some things inevitably go sideways. And as we all know, in life, things are bound to go wrong sometimes.  

Murphy’s Law states that 'if anything can go wrong, it will.’ This may sound negative on face value, but knowing that you can’t control the outcome of every situation is actually incredibly freeing! Thanks to the element of random chance in our universe, no matter how much you prepare, plan, fret and ruminate, things will come up that you aren’t expecting – and that’s okay.  So, don’t put so much pressure on yourself!

Things will happen how they happen, and the best thing you can do is ride the waves, and accept everything this season brings – the good, and the not-so-good.

3. Spend time, not money

Research shows that just over 60% of kiwis feel stressed about the extra costs of Christmas, and one in four of us will feel social pressure to spend more at Christmas time. Advertising spend goes way up in the summer, with big retailers all competing for our (not-so) disposable income. But, you know, just because the TV is telling us that our partner would LOVE a new diamond bracelet, doesn’t mean that you actually have to buy one. I’d probably be happier with a candy bracelet.

Think about the classic Christmas film Jingle All The Way – Arnie spends Christmas Eve running around, trying to find a sold-out toy for his son, but in the end (spoilers) all the young boy wanted was to spend some quality time with his Dad.

Your loved ones may forget what you got them for Christmas, but they’ll never forget the holiday memories you’ve made together.  

Presents don’t have to be expensive, either – try your local opshop, bake your friends some cookies, gift them a plant you’ve grown from seed. A gift made with love is always more well received than one with a hefty price tag! 

4. Remember (your) reason for the season 

The Kirihimete season is significant to many different people, for many different reasons. You may be putting up your Christmas tree, hiding an elf around the house, heading along to an Advent service, lighting your Hanukkah menorah, heading to some local Christmas events, or even just setting up a game of bat-down in the backyard! In Aotearoa New Zealand, we are lucky enough to share our country with people from many different cultures and walks of life, that all have their own traditions around the holiday season.  

With the added pressures to buy more, spend more, and consume more in the lead up to Christmas, it’s easy to become a Grinch, and forget your reason for the season.

But, no matter your beliefs, the spirit of Christmas can be boiled down to a few things: spending time with friends and whānau, and celebrating life.

Try to hold on to your own reason for the season! 

5. Reach out for support 

We know that things can become overwhelming, financially stressful, and isolating – especially during the holidays, and especially at the end of a year that has been difficult for so many. And although it may not feel like it sometimes, there is help and support for you out there if you are suffering from symptoms from depression and anxiety.  

Reach out to your friends, your whānau, your partner, those that you trust. You don’t have to suffer alone, and you may find that people in your life have also navigated times of low mental health.

There’s support for you out there, and you hard times don’t last forever.

So, from all of the team at Just a Thought – Meri Kirihimete, ngā mihi o te tau hou!